Being a dad has its blessing but Children's TV is not one of them. However, whilst watching Bob the Builder I found myself pondering a issue which I think is at the heart of successful leadership and in my context, Church Growth.
"It's not about who has the ideas, it's about working in a team that is what's important." Bob the Builder.
It is easy as a leader to assume that you know best or have all the answers to all problems that may occur. Often this is manifested that if your team, church or people you line manage who may have a problem. They always come to you for help. This of course is a reality in leadership and management that should not be taken lightly or responsibility neglected. But there are reasons not to resolve all the problems yourself or be the one who has all the ideas. Not matter how good the leader, team work is and will always be the key component in success.
Essential, I have grown to understand and hopefully put into practice that leadership is best exercised in community. In the past I have often felt the pressure to come up with all the ideas or have all the solutions. If I am honest, I have quiet enjoyed it. But the more I discover about leadership, the more I realise I can't do it alone, and neither do I want to.
Despite the clear purpose and benefits to leading in community there will be some tensions that raise their head. Here are a few to watch out for:
Not pulling our weight - if you lead with more people, there maybe some that as the Leader you are doing less or simply delegating the Jobs you hate on to others. It is important that you evaluate the jobs/roles people play in your team to ensure this doesn't happen. The questions we need to ask are; Am I the best person for this task/role? Then ask; Am I the right person?
Loss of Authority - It can appear that as you lead more with others you lose your authority as the leader. It is my observation that spiritual authority is developed in relationship with others rather than simply using your position as your authority. This can be highlight in autocratic organisations where often people are appointed because of the length of service, rank or title, or career pathway rather than gift, skills, character or passions.
Out of control - It can often happen that when you lead with others, you don't always know what is going on or what is about to happen. For any leaders this is a scary place to be but I have seen that when you keep out the way people produce their best because they know that you trust them. On Good Friday, Luke and Abi arrange a prayer room for our church to reflect on. The only thing they asked me to do a Bible reflection. Funnily enough, I don't think anyone used it as there were so many excellent resources they had prepared.
Ephesians 4 v 16 - As each part does it's own special work, it helps the other parts to grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
My desire is to see a church where the leaders are brave enough to not always lead and wise enough to know who should.
Matt
Tuesday 26 March 2013
Tuesday 5 March 2013
Get out the way.
Often leaders think that they know best and its their way or the highway. It would be fair to say that this has been my journey over the last few years. I am a confident leader and person who loves doing stuff and being involved with church life. But sometimes this has been to the determent of others growth. It is my desire to be a leader who leaders and release others to be the best they can and support them in that journey.
To highlight this I want to share two stories:
1 - In my previous role at Leicester South I ran a mission week in the community we were moving the church into. Essentially, I did it on my own with a little help from one other person. It was a disaster and had little or no impact what so ever. I remember reflecting back with our church leaders after the week about why it hadn't worked and what I could do as a result. The overriding question in my mind was "why didn't they stop me doing it." Yet, I am grateful they didn't as I now know that you should never try to do anything on your own. I can confess I have not always expressed this lesson but am certainly trying to.
2 - Just a few weeks ago we dedicated (Christened) our new son Benjamin. The worship group were leading 2 songs where in between there is some music or someone to pray. About 10 mins before the service the Worship Group leader, Luke, asked me to do the prayer. I said no. As the time came during the Worship Groups songs for someone to pray, Mike began to pray a beautiful prayer of dedication and love for Ben and our family. I was far better coming from mike than me! Thanks to Luke for asking Mike and for Mike stepping up and doing it.
Sometimes as leaders we need to keep out the of the way so others can learn from their failures and success. A leaders joy should be in witnessing others discovery and often coming up with better ideas or solutions than yourself. To do this a leaders job is to ask the right questions to assist others learning (will look at this in more detail in future blogs). This doesn't mean that as leaders we absconded from our responsibility for the success or failure of something under our leadership. In fact, the opposite is true. We take seriously not just the things we have under our care but the people we lead and rely on to make them happen.
Maybe you need to get out the way and let others discover the gifts they have and let them use them.
Matt
To highlight this I want to share two stories:
1 - In my previous role at Leicester South I ran a mission week in the community we were moving the church into. Essentially, I did it on my own with a little help from one other person. It was a disaster and had little or no impact what so ever. I remember reflecting back with our church leaders after the week about why it hadn't worked and what I could do as a result. The overriding question in my mind was "why didn't they stop me doing it." Yet, I am grateful they didn't as I now know that you should never try to do anything on your own. I can confess I have not always expressed this lesson but am certainly trying to.
2 - Just a few weeks ago we dedicated (Christened) our new son Benjamin. The worship group were leading 2 songs where in between there is some music or someone to pray. About 10 mins before the service the Worship Group leader, Luke, asked me to do the prayer. I said no. As the time came during the Worship Groups songs for someone to pray, Mike began to pray a beautiful prayer of dedication and love for Ben and our family. I was far better coming from mike than me! Thanks to Luke for asking Mike and for Mike stepping up and doing it.
Sometimes as leaders we need to keep out the of the way so others can learn from their failures and success. A leaders joy should be in witnessing others discovery and often coming up with better ideas or solutions than yourself. To do this a leaders job is to ask the right questions to assist others learning (will look at this in more detail in future blogs). This doesn't mean that as leaders we absconded from our responsibility for the success or failure of something under our leadership. In fact, the opposite is true. We take seriously not just the things we have under our care but the people we lead and rely on to make them happen.
Maybe you need to get out the way and let others discover the gifts they have and let them use them.
Matt
Mentoring
Its funny how things work out. Three years ago I was sat in Donnington Services on the M1 waiting for my new mentor to arrive for out monthly meeting. Today I write this blog in anticipation on my mentee turning up for our first meeting. I am really looking forward to seeing if we can make this mentoring relationship work and count it a privilege to be asked to join an old friend on a new chapter of his life. I want to spend the time I have today to look at why mentoring is important in a leaders life and how it impacts both mentor and mentee.
So why is mentoring important?
When I met with my mentor a few weeks ago he said "that he never had such a formal relationship as a mentor but has always had mentors in his life." This is a helpful insight into understanding the role a mentor plays and how it can influence not just your current situation but the future ones too. Mentoring is not a new found obsession in leadership but an model that has been around for a long time. It the bible we find evidence of this; Elijah had Elisha, Joshua had Moses and the disciples had Jesus. Jesus was a mentor to 12 people over a three year period. It was intensive and very purposeful and deeply rewarding for all involved. Mentoring, at its best, provides an environment where honestly and truth flow freely and, over time, development of the mentee's spiritual health and professional competency are brought to account and developed. This is key in desiring to become a better leader, and all good leaders should want to be better ones! Mentoring also allows the mentee to have someone where anything should be able to be discussed. This gives the mentee a safe place to vent their frustrations, speak openly about certain situations or also person struggles. Leadership can be a lonely place and an outlet such as this will provide invaluable.
So what benefits are there?
I want to begin by saying that Mentoring isn't about what you get out of it. Mentoring is costly for both mentee and mentor so must be entered into with resect and and expectation that it will challenge and change who you are. That said, there will be signs of a positive relationship between mentor and mentee. These could be:
Confidence in professional life - Feeling like you have a grip on what is required of you and improving. People may comment on this in your setting.
Healthy and Family life - There will be fewer complaints from spouse or children that you are out to much or not attentive enough to their needs. Enjoying being at home and not wanting to work all the time.
Feeling energised after your meeting - you will come away from your mentor meeting ready for anything. You will feel an inch taller and better equipped to face difficult situation that may arise. You will also have a deeper desire to put thing in place that you have been meaning to for a while. Released - It's good to talk was an old slogan of BT and is true in mentoring. Often, being able to vocalise something bring clarity in our thoughts as to the way to proceed.
These give a flavour of how the mentee can be impacted and subsequently provide some markers for what to look out for if a relationship isn't working.
The mentor will also be provide with many blessings from listening and question another in their leadership journey. It is always exciting and interesting to witness another growth and development. As a mentor you get to see it close up. Also, as you mentor another, you will also be challenged in your own calling/appointment/vocation as to what you need to develop and be held to account for. It is a sobering thought to know that another trust you with their inner feelings, emotions and struggles even though you often feel the same.
Ultimately, being mentored or being a mentor is a honour and privilege. It is also a releif to know that someone is willing and ready to listen to a leaders heart, calling and hopes for their life.
Matt
(this was written a few weeks back but have only just got round to editing and posting)
So why is mentoring important?
When I met with my mentor a few weeks ago he said "that he never had such a formal relationship as a mentor but has always had mentors in his life." This is a helpful insight into understanding the role a mentor plays and how it can influence not just your current situation but the future ones too. Mentoring is not a new found obsession in leadership but an model that has been around for a long time. It the bible we find evidence of this; Elijah had Elisha, Joshua had Moses and the disciples had Jesus. Jesus was a mentor to 12 people over a three year period. It was intensive and very purposeful and deeply rewarding for all involved. Mentoring, at its best, provides an environment where honestly and truth flow freely and, over time, development of the mentee's spiritual health and professional competency are brought to account and developed. This is key in desiring to become a better leader, and all good leaders should want to be better ones! Mentoring also allows the mentee to have someone where anything should be able to be discussed. This gives the mentee a safe place to vent their frustrations, speak openly about certain situations or also person struggles. Leadership can be a lonely place and an outlet such as this will provide invaluable.
So what benefits are there?
I want to begin by saying that Mentoring isn't about what you get out of it. Mentoring is costly for both mentee and mentor so must be entered into with resect and and expectation that it will challenge and change who you are. That said, there will be signs of a positive relationship between mentor and mentee. These could be:
Confidence in professional life - Feeling like you have a grip on what is required of you and improving. People may comment on this in your setting.
Healthy and Family life - There will be fewer complaints from spouse or children that you are out to much or not attentive enough to their needs. Enjoying being at home and not wanting to work all the time.
Feeling energised after your meeting - you will come away from your mentor meeting ready for anything. You will feel an inch taller and better equipped to face difficult situation that may arise. You will also have a deeper desire to put thing in place that you have been meaning to for a while. Released - It's good to talk was an old slogan of BT and is true in mentoring. Often, being able to vocalise something bring clarity in our thoughts as to the way to proceed.
These give a flavour of how the mentee can be impacted and subsequently provide some markers for what to look out for if a relationship isn't working.
The mentor will also be provide with many blessings from listening and question another in their leadership journey. It is always exciting and interesting to witness another growth and development. As a mentor you get to see it close up. Also, as you mentor another, you will also be challenged in your own calling/appointment/vocation as to what you need to develop and be held to account for. It is a sobering thought to know that another trust you with their inner feelings, emotions and struggles even though you often feel the same.
Ultimately, being mentored or being a mentor is a honour and privilege. It is also a releif to know that someone is willing and ready to listen to a leaders heart, calling and hopes for their life.
Matt
(this was written a few weeks back but have only just got round to editing and posting)
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