Will the real Benjamin Mark please stand up!

Our little boy Ben has had a difficult start to his life. He had bronchiolitis at 10 days old, awful Colic until he was 12/13 weeks and then contracted Chicken Pox from his sister at 14 weeks. To say its been hard work is an understatement. He has been terribly unsettled, not sleeping, no visible routine and often very unhappy. Until 2 weeks ago, when he decide that it was time to reveal his real character to us. His Colic has gone, spots fading and he has discovered that sleeping in the evening is good for him and his mum and dad. Although, I am delighted with a peaceful evening and 5 hours undisturbed sleep, I am even more excited to finally see what Benjamin is really like. It has felt to us like we haven't really seen the best of his fledging character and personality because of the issues I described earlier. Now we have a much more contented, happy and smiley little boy (and more awake parents).

The reason for this post is to remind me that I need to be the real me, I need to be the person God wants me to be and has created me to be. It is often easy to be burdened by the external pressures of life such as money, illness, family circricumstance, failure or dissatisfaction with our jobs. These, and other issues, can begin to define who we are, which is not a helpful or joyful road to travel down. But how do we define the me God has created us to be? How do we cultivate a character that reflects the deepest unseen reality within the creation God has made. I believe that God never makes mistakes and as a result there is no such thing as normal. We are all unique beings, created for unique purposes with individual skills and gifts. It wasn't luck that we were created this way but by a creative a god with the greatest imagination ever.

Who are you?

You are unique! No one is like you!

You are just the way God created you. The difficult bit is accepting and realising that it is us that mucks it up through the choices we make, attitudes we harbour and situations we deal with poorly. This is one of the great struggles humanity faces. Knowing who we are and who we are not will define how we act, how we live and what we value. This is a long process and requires honesty and courage. Often we have to acknowledge who we have become before we accept who God made us to be. One of the lies that has had a hold on me, for what ever reason, is that I am not intelligent. Academically, I have little to show to disprove this but I have begun to realise that I am brighter than I had thought and maybe others had given me credit for. I remember my school report saying "if Matt engaged brain instead of mouth would be a very bright student!" Although I did talk to much, maybe that phrase made me believe that talking was the only thing I excelled at and achieved during my school years? It is only now that I have discovered some confidence in academic study and even considering doing a degree or such like.

I don't believe I am called to be a professor but I am called to make the most of the person God has created. Only I can hold that back and only God, through his forgiveness and Holy Spirit, can release it.

I want to be the "me" God created me to be.

Matt

Hope.

Having seen the miserable and disgusting actions of Luis Suarez we can be left feeling a bit frustrated and disillusioned with the world. But here are some thoughts to revive your hope in our amazing world with some great people!

 

This time last year, I witnessed something incredible. Lizzy (my lovely wife) running and completing the London Marathon. She is a self confessed non-runner but was determined to accomplish this race in memory of our best friend Mark Versey, who died in 2011. Despite her uneventful sporting history, I was in little doubt that she would finish because she is very determined and, because of the cause, highly motivated to run and finish 26.3 miles. It was one of the most emotional things she has done and I have witnessed. She gave everything to her training (even when she twisted her ankle) and ran whilst 4 weeks pregnant with Benjamin Mark. Her achievement is even more amazing because of the £3500 she raise for the British Heart foundation. I am so proud of her achievement and her determination to raise money even though it is probably the last thing she would ever want to do. Out of sorrow came hope.

 

Having watched, and followed other friends running it this year, I am moved and filled with hope. With the sadness of the Boston Marathon as the backdrop, runners of all abilities and motivation set out on one of the greatest sporting events in front of 700,000 committed and defiant supporters. Having run the race in 2010 I know the feeling at the start when you realise that you are not alone in what you are about to embark upon. There is no great feeling of a stranger shouting out you name and cheering "keep going, you can do it." Even though the sorrow of Boston and  the emotional reasons people enter and run the London Marathon, it is an example of humanity at it's finest, its most communal and its most hopeful.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22236946 - London Marathon Silence

 

Well done to all who ran and finished the Marathon this year. However, you don't have to run the London Marathon to bring hope into the world. In fact, our everyday provide opportunities to bring a little bit of hope. The link below is a bit about a great example of giving Hope. Charlotte Staunton is a 5 Handicap Golfer and University who volunteers to teach Golf in Schools.

 

http://www1.skysports.com/golf/news/12040/8649078/Get-Involved-meets-golfing-local-hero-Charlotte-Staunton-on-Saturday

 

Here is a link to Ambassadors in Sport's Hope FC.

http://www.ais-uk.org/hope_fc.htm

 

Hope is here. Let others know it is!

Matt

Question Time.

I mentioned in a previous blog about how in leadership you need to ask good questions to get the best out of yourself and the people around you. In this blog I want to explore a little more about the purpose and potential this attitude (it is all about wanting to learn rather than simply finding a solution) of asking good questions can impact a leaders effectiveness. This is an area I still find difficult but have developed more in the last few years. I constantly have to ask myself "have I asked enough good questions today."

The first thing to set straight is to dispel the myth that everyone hates having to answer difficult questions! This was how I once thought but now realise that people can handle difficult questions and consequently change, if the right questions are asked in the right way. Many people think that if you question someone about their effectiveness you are telling them they are not very good at their job despite your motives being honourable. So what how can we achieve the best outcomes when tackling difficult issues with people.

For example: You want to find out why a task has not been consistently being fulfilled by a staff member. The most effective way to challenge as to "why" a job or task hasn't been done is to try and discover what factors are hindering them in achieving there goal. Just by simply wanting finding out why something hasn't been done may not mean that it doesn't happen again in the future. You need to ask questions that help people discover answers and solutions. Questions such as: What 3 things hinder you carrying out your role? What changes do you need to make to improve your effectiveness?

In the church we seem to want to avoid difficult questions and conflict at all cost so that we don't have to deal with the stuff that may result. This however is not honour to the church, the members or indeed God. Jesus is often found to be asking question of his closest friends not to catch them out or to embarrass them but to draw out there own believes and characters. This is the job of a leader and one Jesus does brilliantly in order to prepare the disciples for there challenge. Develop the church for the mission of God.

The second thing to be reminded of is that question nothing is not an option. In my experience asking the wrong questions or doing it in the wrong way is far better than just going with the norm. Apathy is one of the most dangerous places a church can find itself. For it is an apathetic church that will die slowly but surely. It is through questioning, especially good questions, where God can reveal and revive a otherwise stationary congregation. From the prospective of the leader by asking questions you give others the opportunity to answer (from their prospective) and opinions shared. Once you begin to ask good questions, there is not going back and change is already afoot.

Go on, ask the questions but be ready to hear the answers.

Matt